


i'll take what i can get ('cos i'm too damp for a spark)

by everglow



Series: Apocalypse Of The Damned [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Death, Pining, There's swearing and some(?) violence but it's not massively graphic, Violence, basically its a zombie au and its angsty until its not, boyf riends — Freeform, richjake and pinkberry are in this but its minor so i didnt tag, there is definitley a happy ending i promise!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-01 21:19:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11494965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everglow/pseuds/everglow
Summary: As time went on they got better, but they still hadn’t aired out the whole Squip incident. Michael clammed up whenever he mentioned it and Jeremy wasn’t exactly eager to relive it either. He had eventually decided it was time to talk about it, they’d had time to heal and process, they needed to talk things out to get back on track.And then-Then the world ended, and everything went to shit.





	i'll take what i can get ('cos i'm too damp for a spark)

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from When by Dodie Clark  
> Always a sucker for a zombie AU! I hatched this idea a few months ago and totally forgot I had this almost finished but never posted it. I'll link to the original posts in the end notes!  
> There is swearing and some violence, as well as mild talk of (presumably) dead family members.

 

Jeremy stepped out onto the roof of the 7-11, taking a deep breath of the cold night air. This was his favorite place. Not that he didn’t love being around the rest of the group, really, he was so thankful that they were all together, but spending most of your time cooped up with eight other people in a convenience store could get smothering. Crawling up the ladder in the backroom to the roof allowed him space to breathe.

 However, it was clear to him on this particular night he wasn’t the only one with this idea, judging by the silhouette in the moonlight.

“Michael?”

Jeremy immediately knew something was wrong. Instead of turning around to greet Jeremy ecstatically like he normally would, smiling that uneven yet perfect smile that made Jeremy’s heart hammer in his chest.

Jeremy felt a sinking feeling in his stomach as Michael didn’t turn around. He would have assumed that he simply didn’t hear him if it wasn’t for the slight tensing of his shoulders after Jeremy spoke. Cautiously, Jeremy stepped to sit down next to Michael, legs dangling over the edge of the roof.

They sat in silence for a moment, looking outwards. The quiet made Jeremy uneasy. It was never quiet between him and Michael.

 He’d come to hate silence since the whole Squip incident, as it meant more time to focus on that voice in the back of his head, dissecting his every movement. More noise meant more for him to focus on. On this night however, his Squip was unusually silent.

“The sky looks nice.” Jeremy stated softly, after a few more moments of no communication became unbearable.

He was telling the truth, it was a cloudless and crisp night (October? Jeremy thinks it’s October, but it’s pretty hard to keep track of time when it’s the end of the world) which meant that the stars were out in their millions, shining down on them. Electricity had stopped running through town months ago, and while it was unfortunate, it meant less light pollution blocking out the sky. Michael hummed in response, not looking up from where he was hunched up, staring down at his hands. Jeremy was about to break the silence again when Michael spoke up.

“What do you miss most about before?”

His voice was raw, if Jeremy didn’t know better he’d think he’d been crying, but Michael doesn’t cry anymore.

 Jeremy hasn’t seen Michael cry since the first night, where the two of them with Brooke and Christine were holed up in a bus shelter with no idea what was happening; why people were turning into monsters, why the world was falling to pieces before their very eyes. Jeremy still remembers his face pressed into Michaels sleeve, gripping onto him like a lifeline.

Michael was looking at him now, expectantly.

 _You,_ Jeremy thinks.

Here’s the thing about Jeremy and Michael. If there’s something that Jeremy’s always been certain about, it’s that he loves Michael. Michael has always been his best friend, his player one, his favourite person. Michaels always been there for him, even when he didn’t deserve it. Even when he left Michael behind for a stupid desire to be popular, and he still ended up saving his ass.

Things changed after the Squip incident. Suddenly he had a whole new group of friends, a girlfriend and an extra voice in his head. He tried to make sure Michael knew he was still important to him, he owed him that much after all he put him through, but it was hard. He tried to make time to hang out in Michael’s basement like they used to, and he always saved him a space at their lunch table, but with Christine and everything else to deal with he was … distracted, to say the least.

 A few weeks later when he and Christine had decided they were better off as friends, he tried to focus more on Michael. But something was wrong. Their conversations were more stilted, more pauses littered in between. It was as if they’d lost their momentum, and were just drifting by on muscle memory. It wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable, it was just not the same.

As time went on they got better, but they still hadn’t aired out the whole Squip incident – Michael clammed up whenever he mentioned it and Jeremy wasn’t exactly eager to relive it. He eventually decided it was time, they’d had time to heal and process, they needed to talk things out to get back on track.

 And then-

Then the world ended, and everything went to shit.

Not only did the apocalypse put a stop to his plans to fix things, it also brought about _other_ revelations.

You see Jeremy has always loved Michael, but it took a Zombie outbreak for him to realize that he was _in love_ with Michael.

Because when the outbreak happened, when they were a smaller group, before they miraculously managed to find the others at the 7-11 that they currently resided in, they were falling apart. Christine had become silent, barely murmuring anything above a whisper. Brooke hadn’t stopped crying, her sobs echoed around them even as she tried to muffle them, whimpering pained “Chloe’s” in her sleep. Jeremy was in shock for the most part. He didn’t get far enough past the stage of _holy fuck, is this actually happening_ to fully fall apart.

They were all in various stages of human disaster, apart from Michael. Looking back on it, Michael is probably the only reason they made it this far. After a few days he kicked into action, telling everyone what they were going to need to do to survive, how they were going to do it.

  _“I know you’re scared, it’s fucking terrifying, but if we’re gonna make it we have to keep strong okay?”_

Jeremy looked up at him when he said that, his dark eyes vibrant with determination. And he knows Michael well to tell by his rigid posture and dark circles underlining his eyes that he was just as scared as the rest of them. But he was just so strong, pushing all that away to at least pretend to be coping, he just cares about them so much, he’s so brave. Jeremy loves him.

_Jeremy loves him._

All in all, this revelation wasn’t as surprising as it should have been. He supposes he’s always known on some level, that he’s always thought Michael was attractive, that he’s always wanted to spend all his time with him. He supposes another reason it didn’t feel right with Christine was because he didn’t really _know_ her.

Months had passed since that particular revelation. He couldn’t _tell_ Michael. Michael was all that kept him going, he couldn’t run the risk of losing him by making him uncomfortable. He’d hurt him too much already.

 So he kept his distance, tried to keep the hammering in his chest under control, suppress the red flush the graced his cheeks when he was in too close proximity. He noticed this upset Michael though, he’d become quieter around him, less comfortable.

He made sure to let him know that he still cared because _of course he did._ He’d check multiple times that Michael was okay when they were sent out on ‘missions’, always reminded him not to fall asleep with his binder on when he crawled into his sleeping bag late at night, exhausted after a long shift on the patrol rota they’d set up. Making sure Michael was okay was his top priority.

“Jeremy?”

Snapping back to reality, Jeremy realised he’d spaced out for a few moments, eyes fixated on the small crack in Michael’s taped together glasses. He mentally shook himself, mind racing to come up with an answer to Michael’s question.

“Uh, hot showers, obviously.”

He had blurted out the first thing that came to mind. Michael snorted and looked out at the parking lot below them. A silence settled between them once again.

“Um, what about you?”

“My mom.” Michael replied immediately.

Jeremy tensed. He tried not to think about his family, what happened to his dad after the outbreak. He decided that dwelling on possibility would kill him. He reached out a hand to touch Michael’s arm but stopped as the other boy spoke again.

“You know, I went back today.”

“What?”

“Jake sent me out this morning to see if the coast was clear for us to try and hit up that Mall tomorrow. I circled back to mine.”

_No no no no_

“Are you fucking _crazy_? Michael your house is an hours walk away, something could have-“

“It was horrible,” Michael cut him off, eyes glassy. “I haven’t been back since it all started. It was trashed, the windows were broken.”

His description broke off into a cough. When he recovered he took a shaky breath before continuing.

“There was blood too. Just, everywhere.”

Jeremy gaped

“Oh Mike,” He said softly after a few seconds, reaching his arm out to bring the other boy closer.

 Michael briefly buried his head in Jeremy’s shoulder, taking a few shuddering breaths. Jeremy rubbed his hand down his back softly, the other softly petting his dark locks as he felt him quivering underneath.

After a few minutes Michael pulled back, taking off his glasses to rub at his (still dry) eyes.

“It’s fine, I’m fine,” He gave a shaky and unconvincing smile. “I mean, I should have expected it right? It’s my own damn fault for going back,” He sighed, deflating. “ _Fuck.”_

Jeremy’s brow furrowed.

“You know it’s okay that you’re upset right? We can talk about this if you want.”

He huffed out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, right, ‘cos you’re just _so easy_ to talk to these days.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know what!” Michael turned so he was facing him fully now, eyes alight. “I know you’ve been ignoring me Jere. And I just- I get it okay!”

“Wha-“

 “You don’t like that we have to kill those things to stay alive, just ‘cos it’s not your job. You and Brooke just get to run around looking for supplies while I have to actually make it safe for you to do that! But what I don’t get is that you don’t treat Rich like he’s some kind of monster and he does the same thing I do! I mean he’s probably killed more of those things than I have!”

Jeremy stomach twisted and a horrified expression formed on his features.

“Michael, that not what-“

“Do I disgust you? Is that it? I’m not fitting into your little mould that you’ve _created-_ that I have to fit in to stay in your life. _God.”_

Michael’s eyes were shiny now, foreign tears threating to drip down his cheeks. He wiped them away violently. He ripped his eyes away from Jeremy, picking at the hem of his hoodie instead. He let out a shaky sigh.

“I’ve never been enough for you have I?” He said softly.

Jeremy choked on his words, he couldn’t find the ways to say how utterly wrong he was.

Michael stood.

“I have the next watch shift.”

_No no no Michael I’m sorry I love you you’re more than enough I’m sorry I love you I love you._

Jeremy watches him walk away.

 

 

He awakes the next morning to Christine shaking him awake from next to him.

“Jake wants a group meeting in five.” She whispered before crawling swiftly out of her sleeping bag and moving out of the backroom that they had set up to hold their sleeping equipment.

Jeremy stretched, rubbing his eyes as he yawned. He’d gotten barely an hour of sleep last night, agonizing over how he’d fix things with Michael. He took a few deep breaths and tried to comb down his bed head with his hands before getting up and going into the main store.

A while ago Jake set up a kind of ‘office’ behind the till. That’s where he was now, maps spread across the surface, a concentrated look on his face. Rich stood behind him, leaning on the handles of his wheelchair as he tried to get a look at the maps over his shoulder. He looked up as Jeremy entered, giving a sleepy wave. Chloe and Brooke were on the floor, Brooke’s head in Chloe’s lap as Chloe fiddled with the ends of her blonde hair. Jenna and Christine were deep in conversation near the entrance.

One person was not present.

“Where’s Michael?” Jeremy questioned.

“He’s outside, he offered to take Brooke’s watch shift cos of her leg.” Rich shrugged.

While Brooke and Jeremy were out on a scouting mission last week, they’d stopped at a house to look for supplies. Brooke had tripped over a stray floorboard and fallen down the stairs, twisting and scraping her ankle pretty badly. She put on a brave face, but the journey back to the 7/11 just made it worse and she couldn’t really walk on it at the moment. They hadn’t had anything to treat it with so it was beginning to become infected. Hence why they were about to embark to try and find some medical supplies to help treat her injuries.

Jake cleared his throat.

“Okay, so Rich, Jeremy and Michael, you’re going to need to be the ones to actually go to the mall. Christine and Jenna will set you up with the portable radios so you can keep in touch. Uh, part of it is caved in so you’re going to have to make sure to be careful getting in and out. The medical stuff should be on the second floor, so you’re going to need to find a way up when you get inside. Just be quick and quiet and you should be fine.”

Jeremy nodded, as did Rich. Jeremy silently made a resolve to talk to Michael on the way over. Rich slapped Jeremy on the back.

“C’mon Heere, let’s grab headphones and get this over with.”

 

 

The sun was just coming up over the horizon as the trio made their way across the abandoned highway. They would have been walking in a tired silence if it wasn’t for Rich babbling to Jake over the radio. Michael was dragging behind the two of them, swinging his baseball bat side to side. Jeremy slowed his pace till they were walking side by side.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Listen, Michael-“

“Can we not do this right now? Please?” Michael bit out harshly, snapping his head towards him. His expression softened slightly. “It’s okay Jeremy, really.”

Jeremy was about to insist when Michael’s radio crackled.

“Yo Christine, what’s up?” He walked past Jeremy to the front and out of earshot. Jeremy kicked the ground lightly in frustration. He ambled behind the other two, tuning in to Rich’s excited babbling.

They eventually made it to the mall after a half hour. It didn’t look too bad, some of the windows were smashed and others boarded up, but there didn’t seem to be many signs of raiding. This looked hopeful for their chances of finding supplies.

They walked towards the nearest door, next to a faded advertisement for light up sketchers that was so worn down it was barely recognisable. However, when Rich tried to jiggle the handle they discovered that the front door was jammed shut.

After further looking further the only conceivable entrance was a broken window to the right. Michael stopped Rich from immediately jumping through with a hand on his arm.

“Christine says she just figured mall is a spot of bad signal so the radios won’t work. If we go in we can’t let the others know if something goes wrong.” He wrung his hands together nervously. Rich grinned, placing a hand on his arm.

“Relax, we’ve done this millions of times! This place is deserted as shit, we’ll be in and out in no time.”

Michael sighed, nodding reluctantly.

“If you guys give me a leg up, I can see if it’s clear?” Jeremy suggested. The other two nodded, moving to help Jeremy up.

The inside was decrepit and dirty, and smelled faintly of rot. Jeremy attributed that to the massive leaks in the high ceiling. Most of the shops looked quite barren, which was unfortunate but expected. However, it did indeed look zombie free.

“It’s clear,” He called down after a moment. “You guys can push me all the way over now.”

They heaved at his legs and pushed Jeremy over the ledge. When on the other side he helped the other two in, making sure to mind the shotgun Rich had strapped to his belt. Rich looked around his surroundings, before pulling out a pistol from his back pocket and handing it to Jeremy.

“Just in case.” he winked, before ambling off to explore. Jeremy shoved the gun into his front pocket carelessly.

Michael’s eyes were trained on his feet as he moved slowly, almost robotically. Jeremy didn’t know what to say to him just yet, he just stared blankly for a moment and tried to think, before giving up and moving to do his own exploring. He’d have time to talk to Michael back at the base, right now they had to get Brooke some Medicine.

They looked around the bottom floor searching for stuff, but it was mostly devoid of anything useful (bar the comic book Rich had picked up, vowing to give it to Jake as a present.). This was expected, these days most places were empty, and they didn’t expect to be the only people in months to think of raiding a Mall. Jeremy just hoped that for Brooke’s sake the second floor was better stocked.

“Yeah, nothing over here. We better check upstairs.” Michael called from the right. Rich nodded while Jeremy hummed in affirmation. “I think there’s some escalators around here somewhere.”

They found the broken, stationary escalators quickly, deciding to go one at a time. Rich first, then Michael with Jeremy bringing up the rear.

When Jeremy stepped on the metal steps they made an untrustworthy creak. He made sure to step lightly as made his way up, eyes trained on his beaten up sneakers. The floor itself didn’t seem all too steady and he cautiously followed the others - until he slammed straight into Michael’s back, as the boy had stopped dead in his tracks.

He grabbed Jeremy’s arm to stop him from toppling over. He looked at him with an unreadable expression, eyes hard.

“Don’t move.” He whispered harshly.

Jeremy was about to make a sound of confusion when Rich quickly shushed him from the left.

Michael lifted a finger to point in front of him, and Jeremy’s gaze drifted to what had had caught his attention. About twenty feet away there was a horde of about twenty zombies, easily the most undead Jeremy had ever seen in one place.

He felt like the air had been punched out of him, and he felt his hands gripping Michael’s arm tighter.

“We need to go. Now.” Michael said, hysterics lacing his quiet tone.

 The other two nodded jerkily, not tearing their eyes away from the impending danger. Jeremy kept his eyes trained in front of him as the three of them backed away slowly. The slow movement was painful, panic bubbling in his chest. But they were doing it! They were almost there, just a few more steps.

 They were at the escalator when Jeremy’s heel hit a loose tile, sending it flying behind him and make a loud clattering as it fell down the stairs.

Suddenly, all eyes were on them and a loud, garbled scream pierced the air.

_Shit._

“Run!” Rich yelled.

Jeremy froze for a second before feeling a hand grab him and pull him, kickstarting him into action. He could hear the frantic shuffling following them, too close. his heart hammered in his ears as Michael pulled him along, Jeremy feeling like a ragdoll and he was yanked down the stairs.

 The distance from the escalators to the window felt one hundred times larger when the time it took to cross it could decide life or death. Jeremy felt his lungs burning as his feet skid across the floor in a sprint. The window was getting nearer but the zombies were getting closer, he could hear their pained groans, strong jaws snapping behind him.

Rich reached the window first, wasting no time in vaulting the height and pulling himself onto the ledge. Michael went next, Rich helping haul him over the window ledge.

Jeremy was about to reach up to grab a hand when he heard Rich yell a panicked “Watch out!”

Jeremy whipped around in time to be body slammed to the ground by one of the faster Zombies. _Shit shit shit shit_.

 He tried to wrestle the strong body off him, only being able to hear Michael and Rich’s frantic yells.

“Rich shoot it!”

“I can’t, I could hit Jeremy!”

 Jeremy was still wrestling strong arms away from him, gunfire surrounding him as Rich tried to shoot at the oncoming horde. _This would really be a great time for his Squip to chime in and ACTUALLY be useful for once for fuck’s sake._

He scrambled to pull the pistol out of his jeans, forcing snapping jaws away from him. His vision swam as he blindly aimed and pulled the trigger, the gunshot ringing in his ears. The zombie stilled for a moment before it slumped on him, twitching slightly.

He rolled the heavy body off from on top of him, hearing the rest of the horde fast approaching. He wasted no time in reaching towards Rich’s awaiting hand, scrambling up the wall and clumsily rolling out of the window.

 

As soon as his feet hit the ground, they were running. The adrenaline was coursing through his veins. He knew they were probably being followed, their only chance was to beat them to the 7-11. He couldn’t breathe, he could barely think, relying on instinct to follow the route back home.

He could feel Michael’s shoulders brushing his as they ran, the small touch of contact reminding him that he was still here, that they were still alive. He could hear his heart pounding a rhythm in his ears.

_Michael Michael Michael Michael Michael-_

He didn’t know how long they ran for. His brain couldn’t register much more than the feeling of tarmac hitting the soles of his feet and the fact that his lungs felt like they were on fire. He felt numb, all his energy spent on focusing putting one foot in front of the other.

They could have been running for days instead of half an hour when the 7-11 came into view. Jeremy hadn’t taken the time to look back and check if they were being followed, but judging by the speed of the other two it was very likely. Rich let out a woop of pure joy as the trio closed the distance to their haven, safety so nearly available to them.

They reached the door, Jeremy slamming it hard behind them. He doubled over panting hard. Their eyes met the concerned gazes of the rest of their friends. _They were safe._

 

There was complete heavy silence other than the sounds of them trying to regain their lost breath.

Rich let out a hysterical laugh from his left, Michael soon joining. Soon all three of them were laughing themselves into hysterics, dizzy with relief.

After their friends had been shaken out of their stupor watching the three boys, they rushed towards them. Rich bounded towards Jake, leaning down and pulling him into a passionate kiss. Michael gave Jeremy’s hand a reassuring squeeze as Brooke limped over to him, muttering something about his glasses being even more smashed. Christine strode towards Jeremy, pulling him into a fierce embrace. Jeremy smiled, dropping Michael’s hand before wrapping his arms around her in return.

Her eyes widened, her shoulders tensing under Jeremy’s grip. She pulled away abruptly, lightly grabbing his left arm as she rolled up the sleeves of his T-shirt.

Jenna let out a pained gasp, drawing the rest of the squad’s attention.

“Oh my god-”

“No, that can’t-“

“Jeremy”

“ _Holy Shit”_

Jeremy stomach plummeted. His eyes drifted hesitantly downward towards his revealed arm. The bite was still bleeding, glistening in the light. _Of course this would happen to him._

Strangely enough, Jeremy felt calm. The magnitude of the situation was too much for him to grasp, so he felt able to accept it.

Jeremy was going to die.

He ripped his eyes away from his arm to meet the shocked gazes of the rest of his friends. Brooke had moved away from Michael and buried her face in Chloe’s shoulder, the latter of which had her slender fingers clasped around her mouth in shock. Jake had gone completely pale, and Rich was frozen still. Jenna had tears pooling in her eyes and she tried to not make a noise. Christine dropped his hand as if it had burned her, shaking her head whispering “no” over and over and she moved to start pacing a stretch of floor.

His eyes met Michael’s.

His face was twisted somewhere between a scowl and a sob, shoulders quivering. Jeremy ripped his gaze away and toward the floor. Taking a shuddering breath, he collected himself, lifting his head up straight. Any panic he had lowered to a dull hum.

“So, who’s going to do it?” He asked, trying to maintain a calm exterior.

Christine paused in her pacing. “What?”

“You’ve got to kill me right? You can’t let me turn into one of- Just. Okay. Just take me into the backroom and make it quick.”

The group erupted into noises of protest.

“Jeremy, we’re not going to _murder you_! What the fuck!” Jake yelled from his chair, hysterics evident in his features.

“What other choice do you have!” Jeremy cried, silencing the sounds of disagreement. “You either kill me now, or I kill you in twenty-four hours when I turn into one of those things!” He closed his eyes, taking a breath. He started again, softly.

“Please don’t let that happen. I don’t want you to remember me as- like that.” He finished, looking pleadingly around the room.

 A heavy silence settled over them.

“I’ll do it.”

Every head whipped towards Michael, who was staring at the floor. Jeremy made a small noise in response. It came as a shock to him that of all people, Michael would be the one volunteering to get rid of him. Maybe he’d hurt him worse than he’d originally considered. He looked at him giving a watery smile.

“Okay then”

Michael didn’t respond, grabbing his hand before asking Rich for his gun.

“Michael what are you _doing?_ This is absolutely-“

“He’s _dying_ Rich! Don’t you understand that!” He broke off into what sounded like a dry sob. Jeremy squeezed his hand tighter.

“Just, _please_ don’t make this harder than it already is for him.”

Rich swallowed, jerking his head slightly before released his grip on the shotgun. Michael let out a breath.

“Okay.”

He gave Jeremy a wonky smile that didn’t correlate with the rest of his features. “C’mon” He whispered softly, leading him towards the back room.

The room had once held excess produce – out of date food and like. It had been repurposed by the group to hold all the random junk they didn’t need but also didn’t want to get rid of. It was mostly random things they’d picked up on various raids: Jake had a collection of comics stuffed to once side, Jenna had stacked used sketchbooks in the corner. The guitar Jeremy had found and brought back for Michael as a late birthday present was perched in the corner. Jeremy sank to the floor, leaning his head against the cold wall as he picked at the dirty frayed laces of his sneakers. He heard the clack of Michael locking the door behind them, before he sank to the floor beside Jeremy.

Jeremy rolled his head to look at Michael’s profile. He drank it all in: his always messy hair, his dark eyes that always held a sparkle, the freckles that lightly dotted his cheeks. He thinks that Michael being the last thing he ever sees would maybe ease the pain a little. He notices the tears in Michael’s eyes as he worries his lip between his teeth, picking at the bottom of his hoodie. He’s suddenly hit with the guilt of what he’s about to put his best friend through.

He goes back to picking at his shoelace, and begins to ramble at a rapid pace.

“Michael I’m _so sorry._ I didn’t mean to- I mean I shouldn’t have been so _stupid._ I just- I’m sorry I’m making you do this.” He breaks off, embarrassed. Michael lets out a pained chuckle, and Jeremy can feel it vibrating through his shoulder. Every laugh feels like a dagger in his chest.

“I’m not going to shoot you, Jeremy.” He states softly.

Jeremy’s brow furrows in confusion, whipping his head up to look at him. He gasps softly, Michael’s looking at him so tenderly, a soft smile gracing his lips as tears threaten to spill from behind his glasses. He reaches to softly hold Jeremy’s hand in his own.

“What? Michael you have to- I’m _infected_ for god’s sake.”

“I’m not leaving you. Not now, not ever.”

And his expression is so fiery and determined, so certain of his decision and Jeremy just makes a pained noise because no way is he letting Michael be in danger. He starts pushing Michael up, urging him to leave.

“Michael. No. You- I’m. I’ll hurt you! You can’t stay here. If you won’t do it I’ll do it myself! I’m not letting you get hurt because I was stupid-“

Jeremy is cut off by Michael’s lips on his.

It takes him a few moments for him to realize what’s going on until _holy shit_ and suddenly he’s kissing back with fervour. It’s not perfect, or even a good kiss by any standards. It’s needy and desperate, their teeth clack uncomfortably and Michael’s glasses dig into Jeremy’s cheek. But it’s _Michael_ and his hands are steady on his waist and Jeremy’s hand’s are curled in Michael’s hair pulling him impossibly closer, trying to drink in as much of him as possible, his lips warm insistent and wet-

Wet. Saliva.

_Oh no._

Jeremy pulls away as if he’s been electrocuted. Any grief he held about his own impending death has just multiplied tenfold. He holds his fingers to his lips tentatively as if he could take back his fatal decision.

“You- You just- You” Jeremy stutters as he chokes back sobs. Michael is crying too, smiling comfortingly and _he’s just killed himself why is he smiling._

“At least we’ll go mad together.” He mumbles.

And Jeremy was angry and confused and devastated and he just lets out a sob and crumbles into Michael’s shoulder, gripping the material of his hoodie like a lifeline. Michael wraps his arms around him and strokes his hand through his hair as he whispers to him in his ear but Jeremy can’t hear him over the sound of his own cries. His sobs become garbled “You’re so stupid” and “I hate you’s” until Jeremy is just repeating “I love you” as he sobs into Michaels arms. He feels like he’s underwater and Michael is the only thing keeping him afloat in the darkness.

The waves are crashing over his head.

He pulls back to look at Michael, hands stroking the sides of his face.

The waves are crashing in.

“I love you too” Michael says, like a prayer.

The water fills his lungs.

He pulls him in for a kiss.

Jeremy is drowning.

 

They fall asleep like that eventually, holding each other close.

 They don’t fall asleep eagerly, both afraid of waking up first the next morning to face their fates. But they do eventually succumb to unconsciousness, wrapped up in each other. They create a sanctuary out of their limbs. It feels safe, like the warmth of Michael’s body against his will fight off the darkness looming over them. He doesn’t know if they’ll make it until morning.

 

 

Jeremy wakes up.

Jeremy is breathing.

Jeremy is alive?

Jeremy bolts up, looking around. Michael is still asleep next to him, rolled towards Jeremy on his side. His glasses are askew on his forehead and his hair is messy but he’s warm, and breathing. He’s still living.

Jeremy rubs at his arm. He looks down at his arm to see the bite has begun to scab over.

That’s not possible. He’s infected – both his arm and he himself should have rotted into a living corpse. How is this even possible?

**_Hello Jeremy._ **

Jeremy jolts at the familiar Keanu Reeves-esque voice.

 _Well it’s about fucking time you showed up,_ Jeremy thinks at his Squip.

**_My absence was necessary._ **

_Necessary? Me and Michael almost died! We should be dead! We might still be dying! And your absence was necessary?_

**_Stop complaining, you’re immune._ **

_What?_

**_Jeremy, have you ever wondered how the virus started?_ **

Jeremy shakes his head, too exasperated and confused to respond.

**_Did you really think it was a coincidence that the virus appeared so soon after we began to spread?_ **

Jeremy says nothing, as the thought hadn’t even occurred to him. Between evil supercomputers and the zombie apocalypse he’d kind of just learnt to accept it as ‘shit happens’.

**_After your ‘incident’ at the play, word began to get out about the Squips. Of course, as you and your friends had destroyed a large supply, the amount of Squips became…limited. People started trying to make their own Squips. Long story short – it went wrong._ **

_I still don’t understand what this has to do with me not being dead._

The voice in his head sighs.

**_Your possession of a real Squip has allowed you to become immune, your body has learnt how to resist the virus, as it’s already had to fight me._ **

_Oh._

Jeremy sits back in shock. It takes him a while before he can get his head around it. When he finally realises that he’s not actually dying and for some twisted, weird random act of fate everything is _fine_ , he starts laughing. Because it’s hilarious and painful and hopeful and everything is _fine_ and all he can think to do is laugh.

Michael wakes up to Jeremy manically giggling as tears fall from his eyes and his body shakes.

“Jeremy what-“ Jeremy whips towards him, wasting no time in pulling him in for a kiss, eager and passionate, trying to say everything he hadn’t said yesterday, over the last few months, over the last twelve years. He breaks away, and he’s grinning so widely it hurts his face.

“I love you.”

“Jeremy-“

“No listen- I love you, and I’m sorry about everything I’ve done to you. Not just yesterday, but over the past couple of months and I’ve been such a terrible friend but I was just so afraid of losing you and I just,” He cuts himself off, making an aborted arm movement. “I just-, I was afraid of being in love with you and losing you, and I’m sorry that I blocked you out _again_ instead of doing the normal thing and just _talking-“_

Michael takes his face in his hands, resting his forehead against Jeremy’s. Jeremy stops, choking up. He’s so overcome with all of his senses screaming _Michael Michael Michael._

“It’s okay Jere,” He looks up at him. “you could never loose me. Not for that”.

He closes the gap and presses a soft kiss to Jeremy’s nose. He giggles.

“I love you” Michael says, and it’s so real and sincere and better than anything Jeremy ever could have imagined. Jeremy goes in to kiss him again but Michael stops him.

“Wait. How are we still…us?” He questions, brow furrowed.

Jeremy grins and explains watching as Michael's face goes from confused to relieved to hopeful to overjoyed, and breaks off every now and then to press kisses to his face because he _can._

They stay like for a while before deciding to explain everything to the rest of the group. Michael takes his hand before they walk out. For the first time in forever Jeremy feels like he can handle anything, he feels _whole._

They exit the room to explain the situation to the rest of the group.

It’s loud and it’s hard and there’s crying and hugging and yelling, but they’re _okay._

Michael looks at him.

The water is receding.

He smiles softly, eyes twinkling.

The waves are slowing.

Michael takes his hand.

Jeremy can finally breathe.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So this is A) The first fic I've ever posted on AO3 and B) The longest thing I've ever written.
> 
> I didn't have a beta so all mistakes are my own, feel free to tell me in the comments and I will fix them.
> 
> I'm not the best writer but I am so invested in this au and think about it all the time so I felt like I would explode if I didn't actually put it in to words lmao!! All comments and kudos are appreciated! I think about this au A LOT so if people like this I might write more for it. (I'm more likely to do art tho as that's my Main Thing so if you want that check out my tumblr!)
> 
> My tumblr is [pixelbadger](pixelbadger.tumblr.com) ! I always want 2 talk about this au/bmc in general so feel free to hmu!
> 
> Original post is [here](http://pixelbadger.tumblr.com/post/161246291394/be-more-chill-zombie-au) as is some bad pixel art I did for it if you check the tag lmao
> 
> Have a nice day! Thanks for reading!
> 
> EDIT:: Literally like 5 seconds after posting this I went on tumblr and saw this [amazing zombie apocalypse au art](http://miikpal.tumblr.com/post/162955940068/i-raise-u-zombie-apocalypse-au) by [miikpal](miikpal.tumblr.com)! Very weird coincidence, and this au and that are in no way related but its very nice art so I thought I'd link it anyway!


End file.
